Identifying the Spirit of Jealousy, Ep 17
Welcome Back! I am your host, Dawn Simmons, and in this episode of Conquering Our Unseen Enemies we are going to be discussing the spirit of Jealousy. We are going to be identifying the characteristics of the spirit of jealousy. We will go over some real-life examples of people dealing with someone acting with a spirit of jealousy and laying out how to evict this influence in your life whether you have a spirit of jealousy or are dealing with someone who has a spirit of jealousy. Let's get started.
Jealousy. We all know what this is like. We have all had it and likely have all been the recipient of some jealousy ire from someone somewhere along the way. It is an ugly, ugly emotion that begins at the beginning. Satan's pride created a spirit of jealousy of all that God has and is, and as a result God threw him out of Heaven. We've talked about that before in a previous podcast, but it goes even to how satan tempted Eve. He deceived her and used what we now call FOMO to play on her being jealous of what God had, and not being able to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. That's in Genesis 2:16-17 and then the fall occurs in Genesis 3. We don't have to look any further than Genesis 4 to see the first murder committed out of jealousy. In Genesis 4:7 we see God warning Cain, "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Cain could not do what is right and out of a spirit of jealousy, he murdered his brother Abel.
So jealousy has been around since before mankind existed and began in man from the beginning of our existence. It creates divides among families, tears apart marriages, breaks down churches, ruins businesses and worst of all it has cost millions of people their lives. The spirit of Jealousy is a root and then it brings along other sins to create more chaos.
Jealousy is the 10th Commandment given to us by God. Exodus 10:17, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Social media and reality TV have created an immediate avenue for jealousy as cars, houses and personal accessories have taken the place of the ox and the donkey. Almost all of us notice when our neighbor gets a new car. My neighbor just did earlier this year and yes it is way sexier, way way sexier than my car, but I don't want his car. I can appreciate the aesthetics of his car but it ends there. When I look back at my car, I am perfectly happy with the decision I made when I bought my car. I think jealousy as a sin is often overlooked because it is the last of the commandments, the 10th and people who are jealous think it doesn't directly harm another person or that anyone else can see their sin.
The spirit of Jealousy attacks our self-worth, affects how we view others, the world, creates bitterness, harbors hatred, entices people to compromise their morals, and only serves to take us into a downward spiral that will ultimately produce rejection in our lives. All of that has an origin and it is all from satan. We all have a weakness, all of us, and that is what will be exploited as often as possible and as severely as is necessary to get us to respond in a way not pleasing to the Lord. James 3:16 tells us this, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." So when we are in a situation and the spirit of Jealousy is present, we know what to expect, but what does it look like? We know what it is, but what does it look like when we break it down?
It comes down to characteristics. The characteristics of the spirit of Jealousy are not always easy to spot at first but once you pick up on one or two you will see how they weave together.
You know you have someone with a jealous spirit near you or are creating an environment with a spirit of jealousy when you see any combination of these characteristics, particularly repeatedly. (One off may just be an unpleasant person.) A person with a Jealous Spirit will:
1) Ask you questions to make you feel uncomfortable or slight you in some way publicly or one on one in an attempt to tear apart your confidence.
2) Compliment you all the time, not genuine and they work it to be a backhanded compliment or raise themselves higher than you even in the compliment.
3) Make everything a competition and as result brag about their achievements. They cannot be happy about your success. They will say what you receive is due to luck, no acknowledgment of your work or effort.
4) Steal your successes which includes being a copycat in an attempt to present something as if it was theirs. Copy you in general.
5) Blow up your plans to try to sabotage you or lead you astray. This is usually done in a subtle way, so you won't pick up on what they are doing.
6) Always find a way to cut you off when you are speaking. The attempt is to diminish you to other people. This can even be done with body language like eye rolling.
7) Put you down in front of people and will spread rumors about you with the intent to damage your credibility or reputation. The purpose is to bring you down below them.
8) Criticize everything you do in a way that is not constructive.
9) Flat out just do not like you. They are unable to speak in kindness to you and it's only you.
So we have the characteristics identified, now let's look at how a Jealous spirit has behaved in some real-life examples and then we will tackle how to evict this influence in your life.
This first example involves a woman we will call, Jane, who is dealing with a woman at her church that has been treating her differently than she treats others in their Bible Study. For ease of reference, we will refer to the person who is jealous in our scenarios as Jeal. In this situation, Jane, was attending a Bible study group and a few weeks later Jeal joined. Jeal is about 20 years older than Jane. They did not know each other from church prior to this Bible Study. Both women have been Christians for a very long time but Jane is more mature in understanding of the Bible and the Holy Spirit and contributes to group discussion quite a bit. Each week Jane treats Jeal the same as everyone else, but during the Bible study Jane has noticed that Jeal will mumble under her breath while Jane is speaking, and moves around when everyone else is sitting and paying attention. Those behaviors on their own may not mean anything but combined with additional things that have begun to happen over the past few weeks, Jane feels Jeal's behavior is escalating. In front of the group, Jeal recently asked where Jane went to church, and then when Jane responded that she went to the same church (both women have been going to the same church for years) Jeal made a comment with a sneering attitude, "well. I've never seen you there." Jane then replied with where she sat so she could see her at church the next week, and Jeal responded that she never sits in the same place, she wants to keep moving around because then she felt more a part of the church. The way she said it made Jane feel like she was slighting Jane for sitting in the same place each week. Jane has picked up on looks she is being given but is choosing to ignore them. In the last week, Jane was advised by another person in the Bible study that when Jane was talking, Jeal was rolling her eyes, and was asked if something was going on to cause that type of noticeable reaction from Jeal.
In the next situation, Jane 2, was hosting a Bible study and Jeal 2 was new to the Bible study. It was a Bible study that allowed for a lot of discussion and functioned really well before Jeal began to attend. Everyone in the Bible study has been a Christian for over 15 years. It was a loose agenda with each person bringing scriptures to talk about and share how it has affected them over the previous month. They meet monthly. Jane 2 noticed after a few months that whenever she spoke, Jeal 2 would then speak and it would be one level up from Jane 2. For 2 more months she tested her theory. She thought it seemed silly, she had to be misinterpreting but she went ahead and tested her theory and sure enough, no matter what Jane 2 said, Jeal 2 told an even better story and was even trying to "teach" Jane 2 implying Jane 2 didn't have as much knowledge as Jeal 2. Whatever Jane 2 said, Jeal 2 had to "correct" her by adding information that was unrelated to what Jane 2 was discussing. An example of this was a discussion in the group of the Old Testament and Jeal 2 added that she was teaching herself Hebrew and then added information to show her knowledge of Hebrew was above everyone else. On the third month, Jane 2 decided to let everyone else speak and then she would go last. It was a change in their routine but no one was bothered by it, except Jeal 2. Jane 2 described the look on Jeal 2's face when she changed the routine as lost, she didn't know what to talk about without having Jane 2's information to work from. After the meeting ended and everyone left, 5-10 minutes later Jane 2 was on the phone and Jeal 2 returned to tell her that what Jane 2 shared in the meeting, Jeal 2 also had that same situation and that she knew even more about it, she just wanted Jane 2 to know and then she left. Jane 2 was confused by that odd behavior. During all of this time other things happening as well. Such as Jeal 2 giving Jane 2 advice during the meetings, none of which were applicable to Jane 2. Jeal 2 would ask Jane 2 if she knew where to find different passages in the Bible. Jeal 2 on multiple occasions told Jane 2 that she was being told by the Lord that she needed to pray over Jane 2, implying she had some knowledge of Jane 2 from the Lord that Jane 2 did not have of herself. Jeal 2 would continually talk about all she was doing for people and all the information the Lord was giving her over the future of the area. Jane 2 did take Jeal 2 out to lunch to develop the relationship, but during the lunch Jeal 2 began to drill Jane 2 about her gifts and her family history. However Jane 2 responded, Jeal as always more advanced and experienced. Jane 2 stopped taking Jeal 2 to lunch.
The third situation I want to share with you involves a work situation. John is a manager who relocated about 5 years ago to take this management position. One of the men who works for him, Jeal 3, wanted John’s job, but he was not selected because he was not qualified. John was brought in to overhaul a department and Jeal 3 had been part of the reason for the overhaul. Nonetheless, Jeal 3 immediately set up to be seen as John’s “right hand man”. John was aware Jeal was not selected for the job and initially believed Jeal 3 was sincere at wanting to do his job well and supporting John, although he did express some bitterness over not being selected. Over time, John began to notice Jeal 3 would interrupt John at staff meetings, trying to take over presentations and assert himself as the person with the answers. John was also advised Jeal 3 was talking to other departments and taking credit for all the success that John was having in rebuilding the department. When John had to take a short medical leave due to an unexpected surgery, Jeal 3 packed up all of John's belongings and set himself up in John's office as if he was taking over. Six months later when John was given a promotion for the work he had done the previous 3 years, Jeal 3 told John he was only promoted because of Jeal 3 stepping in for him while he was out for surgery. When a promotion became available in the department, Jeal 3 was again not selected as he did not have the required training, though he could have taken the training and it would have been paid for by the company, he did not do so. Another candidate was then chosen. As a result, Jeal 3 became more difficult to work with and began to bad mouth John throughout the company as he searched for a new job within the company.
The difficult part about the first 2 examples are they are both situations within the church. We should not be having jealousy issues within the body of Christ, let alone in the same local church. We are all created differently with a different purpose and different talents, skills, gifts and resources. In the last example, the Jeal character not only has a spirit of Jealousy, but also had narcissistic tendencies. If you listened to the 2 episodes we just had on Narcissism you likely picked up on this as I was sharing. So where do we go from here?
If you are struggling with a spirit of jealousy, even just slightly, you need to address it head on, and quickly. You do not want to allow it to take root and begin to stir up other areas that will only produce chaos in your life.
First: Admit it and don’t try to justify it. It is wrong, it is telling God that what He has given you is not good enough. It opens the door to more evil.
Second: Repent. Shut the door to evil, turnabout and seek the Lord for an understanding of how He sees you and all the wonder and beauty and talent He has provided in you. Yes, guys can be beautiful too!
Third: Ask for Forgiveness. We should be doing this regularly anyway, but if we ask for forgiveness in this area, you allow the Lord to open new doors for you, His doors. It will change your outlook.
Fourth: Be Thankful. This is a feeling that may not happen right away, you have to look at your self and what you have with a new thankful heart. If you want more or an improvement in what you have, seek the Lord and have Him guide you in His ways. He will not give you an increase if you are not thankful for what you have at the present.
If you are in the position of having to deal with the spirit of jealousy from someone in your life here are ways to evict the influence it is having over you.
First: Seek the Lord and pray over the situation. We want to make sure we are addressing the situation with an honest, earnest, open heart. We could be misreading or misinterpreting, and we want to allow for grace if we have made a mistake.
Second: Pray for them. They are in a struggle, and your prayer could help them change.
Third: Don't allow yourself to get upset by their behavior. The spirit of jealousy is focused on creating chaos within that person but taking you down at the same time is only a bonus for them. Identify and separate the behavior from the person. This is much easier to say than to do, but you getting upset isn't helping you either.
Fourth: Shift your position to cutoff opportunity or redirect attention. If in the past you have been willing to share personal information, hold back and instead, ask them questions and allow them to talk about themselves. This could serve to let them know they are heard and begin to quell feelings of insecurity or insignificance. Be genuine in this approach.
Fifth: If the situation is just too toxic for you to be able to function at work, church within the family, then you want to consider the process we discussed in the Narcissism episodes that is laid out for us in Matthew 18:15. Attempt to talk to your Jeal alone to address the issue. If that doesn't change, then take a witness or two to address the situation. If that still does not alleviate the issue, then adding church leadership or an HR type person into the situation. I have only seen one church situation escalated past the leadership level.
People with a spirit of jealousy aren't usually going to continue down the road the same way once they have been confronted. They may switch tactics if there is no change but ask the Lord to reveal the truth in all circumstances and remain consistent in your behavior honoring to the Lord.
I hope you found that to be helpful for you or someone you know. These can be difficult to pinpoint and understand, but once you realize what kind of spirit you are dealing with then you can almost anticipate what will come from them next. It's not a terribly creative spirit.
Ok so as always let's recap the Top Show Points:
· Jealousy is an ugly, ugly emotion that begins at the beginning. Satan's pride created a spirit of jealousy of all that God has and is, and as a result God threw him out of Heaven.
· Genesis 4 we see the first murder committed out of jealousy. In Genesis 4:7 we see God warning Cain, but Cain could not do what is right and out of a spirit of jealousy, he murdered his brother Abel.
· Jealousy is the 10th Commandment given to us by God. Exodus 10:17
· The spirit of Jealousy attacks our self-worth, affects how we view others, the world, creates bitterness, harbors hatred, entices people to compromise their morals, and only serves to take us into a downward spiral that will ultimately produce rejection in our lives. All of that has an origin and it is all from satan
· James 3:16 tells us this, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
· The characteristics of the spirit of Jealousy are not always easy to spot at first but once you pick up on one or two you will see how they weave together. Went over 10 characteristics.
· Discussed 3 real-life examples of people dealing with a jealous spirit
· If you are struggling with a spirit of jealousy, even just slightly, you need to address it head on, and quickly. You do not want to allow it to take root and begin to stir up other areas that will only produce chaos in your life.
o Admit it and don’t try to justify it.
o Repent
o Ask for Forgiveness
o Be Thankful.
· If you are in the position of having to deal with the spirit of jealousy from someone in your life here are ways to evict the influence it is having over you.
o Seek the Lord and pray over the situation
o Pray for them
o Don't allow yourself to get upset by their behavior
o Shift your position to cutoff opportunity or redirect attention
o If the situation is just too toxic for you to be able to function at work, church within the family, then you want to consider the process we discussed in the Narcissism episodes that is laid out for us in Matthew 18:15.
We encourage you:
· To have an active Bible reading plan, it will be helpful in gaining wisdom and understanding and it is required for the gift of spiritual discernment.
I have enjoyed this time with you and I look forward to our time again next week!
We encourage you:
· To have an active Bible reading plan, it will be helpful in gaining wisdom and understanding and it is required for the gift of spiritual discernment
· Have a great week!
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