Root Out the Spirit of Rejection
Welcome Back! I am your host Dawn Simmons and in this episode of Conquering Our Unseen Enemies we are going to be discussing Rejection. I want to address how the Spirit of Rejection works to torment us and in contrast show how our best defense against rejection is forgiveness. We will also discuss signs to know if you are responding with a spirit of rejection. We can then go on the offense by responding in love, which some believe is one of the most difficult acts we are asked to do as believers, but we'll see how it's actually simple.
Now, not all rejection is the Spirit of Rejection, let's be clear about that. But we have all been there. We have all experienced some sort of rejection in our lives. One part of rejection we don't acknowledge very often in our society today is rejection does not always produce a negative outcome. How we process rejection is what determines our ability to handle challenge and establishes who we are in Christ as individuals in a healthy way. Not all rejection is created equal. When we are rejected as children by our family or in a marriage by our spouse it can be much more traumatic than not being selected for a promotion. So we also need to recognize that there is a distinction in rejection and not consider all rejection the same.
Let's talk a little bit about what Rejection is and how it works against us. Rejection is an inner wound that requires forgiveness for healing to begin. If we don't forgive, it allows the inner wound to begin to fester and infect the rest of our heart and mind. It will produce bitterness, anger, resentment and even hatred. Rejection can be traumatic. If we allow it to take root, rejection can produce lifelong sadness, depression, self-worth issues. The Spirit of Rejection is a tormenting demon. Its only objective is to bring you into bondage using your own pain against you. As an emotion, Rejection is frequently neglected, overlooked, hidden deep inside. It is the root of many other issues we will deal with in our lives without realizing its original tie came out of a rejection. For some, the original act that produced the rejection is not even remembered, only the collateral damage that results. For others, the rejection is still raw and is like a recurrence over and over again.
When we are rejected, we feel overlooked, excluded, unloved, slighted, disrespected, undervalued, forgotten. The natural tendency when we are rejected is to defend ourselves which may result in lashing out, covering or shielding our heart, shutting out others. This may be an attempt to prevent being hurt again but even that response comes with a price because that self-isolation yields the same result as rejection, but you are instead choosing that for yourself. Self rejection! You believe you can at least trust yourself and slowly begin to distrust others. Overtime this can develop into a paranoia if we allow it. You begin to question the smallest of things. Have you ever met someone who was paranoid?
A few weeks ago we discussed a man I worked with, we called him John, tho we call everyone Jane or John. Anyhow, John was paranoid. I asked him questions to try to define his paranoia and find the strongman. I wanted to see where paranoia most exhibited itself. With John, anytime he spoke of the women in his life, he became more paranoid and made bold accusations against them. The accusations were not logical and the more he spoke, the more we began to understand that he was "ghosted" numerous times which translates to "rejected" numerous times by these various women over a period of several years. The anger and hateful accusations made against these women were allowed to essentially percolate because the spirit of rejection had such a hold on John and deceived him into believing the odd accusations he made were true.
Rejection can deceive you into believing anything about yourself and about others. The idea is to keep you so wrapped up in this deceit, you can't focus on forgiving the person you believe has wronged you. Understand, I am not even saying here that in every situation we are actually being wronged, perception can be a lie as well. I can tell you with great certainty that John misread the intentions of some of the women he dated in the past and jumped to his own conclusions. When it didn't turn out the way he expected, he felt rejected. When he reacted poorly, he was "ghosted". We are all guilty of this at some level. How we respond is the key to defending our heart and mind. Let’s take a look at some signs of the spirit of rejection at work in our lives:
Signs of spirit of rejection
· The feeling no one understands you or accepts you
· Comparing yourself to others and you are always less than others
· Feeling overlooked when you are not acknowledged
· Constantly seeking approval from others, sometimes going out of your way to be acknowledged
· Becoming angry, even bitter when you are not chosen
· Becoming easily offended or defensive when being corrected
· Thinking everyone is out to sabotage you
· Thinking you never fit in, so you become difficult to get along with
· Unwilling to forgive others whether they apologize for a wrong
· Believing you need to get back at everyone who "wrongs" you – unwillingness to forget
If you repeatedly see signs of this in your behavior, then we need to dig down and work on how to evict this spirit. Be honest with yourself. Only you know how you feel deep down. We want to root out this spirit so it doesn't have a chance to continue to grow and develop.
So how do we root it out? Forgiveness. This may require a look back to see where you may not have forgiven someone who wronged you and as a result creating this attitude or behavior. If it's not you, maybe you see this in a family member or friend who struggles. This situation won't change until we learn how to forgive and defend our heart and mind the correct way.
Forgiveness is not easy. Forgiveness, depending on how deep the wound is, may even feel impossible. So let's look at how Jesus and Stephen handled pretty severe rejection with forgiveness.
Luke 23:34 shows us how Jesus forgave when he was rejected. This is the ultimate rejection. They were sacrificing him. Rejecting Him as the son of the God they claimed to worship. They had written knowledge that he would be coming and they rejected Him. Taking his very life after trying to take everything else from him first. I don't know anyone who has faced rejection at this level. Jesus continually faced rejection throughout his ministry and he did not react sinfully. He never let satan get a foothold in his life. He responded instead with forgiveness first and then love. It is important to understand that order because until we forgive, any attempt at love may not be genuine. I'm sure there are some people out there that can respond in love no matter what you do to them, but most of us are not that way. We have to be honest with ourselves and our emotions so we can clear out what is preventing us from forgiveness and as a result, the full life Jesus promised in John 10:10. That was a promise, not a maybe it'll happen. God does not lie, God cannot lie, so if he says it is what he came to give to us, then it is ours to receive.
Another example is Stephen. He was able to forgive when he was rejected and stoned, Acts 7:59, While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.
How many of us react this way? Stephen just gave a powerful, heartfelt, emotional and logical speech. It was a message that was true, undeniable and still the evil in those men's hearts blinded them to the truth and they took his life. Stephen was our first Christian martyr following Pentecost.
So when we are rejected, or even if we feel rejected – meaning, if we are reacting in a way about something where nothing was intended toward us, or we misunderstand – getting to that place of forgiveness before we allow our heart and mind to become hurt is a rebuke in action. We are defending ourselves in that manner. Then when we are able to turn around and respond in love, going from defense to offense and spiritual warfare is taking place. We are denying the enemy access and evicting him from moving in our lives.
So first, we need to find a place in our hearts and minds to forgive who….everyone. We can't single anyone out, any offense out, we have to let it all go and trust God to do what is best for us and the other person. Think about it, have you ever offended someone, hurt them in a way they needed to forgive you? I know I have. So what happens if they never forgave you? Is that what you want? What about all those people you don't even know you offended? Maybe there's more of those out there. Don't you want to be forgiven? So why hold back? True, we may be holding on to ill will over something done to us where the person who did it could care less, does that change your relationship with Jesus? Actually, yes. Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you"
So if that is true then the opposite is true as well. If you don't forgive other people, then your heavenly Father will also not forgive you. Many of us know this is the case, but we get so caught up in our rightness or wrongness of the other person that we put ourselves in the position of not being forgiven for our own mistakes. That allows that demonic spirit the ability to get that root a nice firm place in our lives. So find out where you lack forgiveness and give it away. Then make it a point to forgive immediately as new offenses emerge.
So now that we have forgiveness under our belt, how can we move into a place of responding in love. Well, let’s first examine love as Paul describes it in 1 Corinthians 13. I'm starting at verse 4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Now when we look at love here, that doesn't seem overwhelmingly difficult to do after forgiveness. It doesn't say I have to go hug on anyone. It doesn't say I have to go to lunch with them, it doesn't say I have to invite them to my home and become besties. It simply says, when someone has rejected me in a way for me to be hurt, I need to first forgive them and then be patient and kind, don't be dishonoring, don't be easily angered, don't keep a record of wrongs and don't delight in evil, rejoice in the truth. That is probably a huge run on sentence my mom the English teacher would not like, but it’s a true run on sentence. Don't make love harder than it has to be. Don't turn love into actions or behaviors it is not. Don't apply expectations to either forgiveness or love that are unrealistic and difficult to maintain. Once we start doing that to ourselves, we are creating our own challenges and the enemy is right there to draw it out and torment us when our expectations are not met. Our love reaction comes from the heart, not the mind. The mind follows the heart. When our heart is right with the Lord and we forgive, our hearts are free to respond in love in ways we didn't realize were possible. I say that in full confidence because I am not one who could be described as overly loving for all the years of my life. We moved a lot, my dad was in the military so every few years you started your life over again. I'm an introvert, so the majority of the time I dreaded it. It didn't serve to make me the most loving and open-hearted individual because anywhere you lived, you knew it was short lived. You lost friends, there was no internet, no social media back then so generally between their moves and your moves, you lost your friends. It could be lonely, sometimes you would be transferred with people you knew and a familiar face was nice, but primarily I was on my own. So for me, forgiveness isn't as much of an issue as the love aspect. Having children changed me for sure, but outside of that I struggled to "love" people as a whole. I had to step back and really examine my heart. When you have to find your new group of friends every move, there's a lot of rejection involved. The hardest move was from Europe to Texas. We moved to a little town called Belton and it was extremely difficult to make friends. Those kids knew each other almost since birth so someone coming in as a teenager, someone who dressed differently and acted differently, it was a process to be accepted. Now I love Texas, 90% of my family are scattered throughout the state, but it was a struggle in my life. I was torn apart by some of the girls because I was different. One day in particular I was wearing a pair of earrings I bought in Paris. I traveled all over Europe and my wardrobe reflected that. You guys should have seen me in my Adam Ant years. I was a sight. Anyhow, someone asked me about them, where I got them and I gave an honest response without thinking anything of it because it wasn't unusual to me or my friends in Europe. That response, guys, that response traveled through so many girls and I had no idea the reaction it would create. No one would say it to my face, which I found odd, but when I would pass or behind my back they would talk and make jokes, saying and I remember the words exactly to this day and the posture and the outfit of the girl who said it "Yeah, Paris, more like Paris, Texas." I didn't know there was a Paris Texas at that time, but that girl was known to be just mean, mean to girls she could bully. Not once did she ever approach me and say anything to me, always the cowardly way. It irritated me for years. Close minded and cowardly people do irritate me, I have to be honest. I remember everything about it. That was like 40 years ago. What I don't do though is care about it. I don't care that she treated me poorly, was rude, mean. I forgive her and all her friends. I respond in love, but notice it isn't hard at all to respond in love. I don't wish evil, I remember what happened, it is part of my history, but I don't keep a record of her offenses against me. I'm sure she did other things but even then, I knew she wasn't acting in good character, and I moved on in my life and forgot about her. Sometimes acting in love doesn't require us to go overboard. I didn’t need to go to her and say, "I forgive you for being a jerk to me for no reason and furthermore, I love you and I want to make sure you know how I feel." Just keep it simple. If you have multiple people to forgive, start with the easiest first and be sincere.
Ok as always we are going to recap.
Top show points to remember:
· Rejection is an inner wound that requires forgiveness for healing to begin. If we don't forgive, it allows the inner wound to begin to fester and infect the rest of our heart and mind.
· The Spirit of Rejection is a tormenting demon. Its only objective is to bring you into bondage using your own pain against you
· When we are rejected, we feel overlooked, excluded, unloved, slighted, disrespected, undervalued, forgotten. The natural tendency when we are rejected is to defend ourselves
· Rejection can deceive you into believing anything about yourself and about others. The idea is to keep you so wrapped up in this deceit, you can't focus on forgiving the person you believe has wronged you.
· We reviewed 10 signs of the spirit of rejection at work in our lives
· So how do we root it out? Forgiveness. This may require a look back to see where you may not have forgiven someone who wronged you and as a result creating this attitude or behavior. This situation won't change until we learn how to forgive and defend our heart and mind the correct way.
· Luke 23:34 shows us how Jesus forgave when he was rejected. This is the ultimate rejection. Jesus continually faced rejection throughout his ministry and he did not react sinfully. He never let satan get a foothold in his life. He responded instead with forgiveness first and then love.
· Another example is Stephen. He was able to forgive when he was rejected and stoned
· So when we are rejected, or even if we feel rejected getting to that place of forgiveness before we allow our heart and mind to become hurt is a rebuke in action.
· we need to find a place in our hearts and minds to forgive who….everyone. We can't single anyone out, any offense out, we have to let it all go and trust God to do what is best for us and the other person.
· Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you"
· Let’s examine love as Paul describes it in 1 Corinthians 13.
· Don't make love harder than it has to be. Don't turn love into actions or behaviors it is not. Don't apply expectations to either forgiveness or love that are unrealistic and difficult to maintain. Once we start doing that to ourselves, we are creating our own challenges and the enemy is right there to draw it out and torment us when our expectations are not met.
· Just keep it simple. If you have multiple people to forgive, start with the easiest first and be sincere.
We encourage you:
· To have an active Bible reading plan, it will be helpful in gaining wisdom and understanding and it is required for the gift of spiritual discernment
· Also, I want to encourage you to visit our website and join our Warrior community. In the month of October I will be picking 4 people at random from our Warrior community for a one hour one to one discussion, so if you would like to be included in that random drawing make sure you join the community.
As always, I hope you learned something and took away some points you can apply to your life.
I look forward to talking with you again.